Oh Infographics, You’re So Clever

SEO folks.  They’re so clever.  Since there are lots of website owners that are a) aware of the value of links and b) too lazy to come up with their own content, SEOers came up with the now annoyingly ubiquitous infographic.  Think lots of information jammed onto an image with a clever title and funny graphics along with a text box with link code.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some great infographics out there.  Hell, I even printed one out and put it on my wall (because I’m old school like that.  And I hate trees.).  I just don’t like the fact that it’s nothing more than an SEO hack (or is it “a SEO hack”?  I never know what the rule is when you’re dealing with acronyms that start with letters that sound like they start with vowels).

Trust me, when image links don’t matter anymore, no one will be making infographics.  They’ll all go back to <gasp> writing copy that people can actually read </gasp>.  And if you don’t think the Google is working on nerfing this exploit link building strategy, you’re on crack.

 

Posted in SEO Crap.

The Worst Apple Employee In America

Oh, Apple.  While visiting good old So Cal to see the family, I decided to take my Dad on a trip to the Apple store to get an iPad.  I’m not an Apple freak like those Cult of Mac folks, but I do respect their customer service.  If there’s one thing that Apple does well, it is take care of their customers.  So imagine my surprise when I came across the worst “genius” in America down at the Sherman Oaks Fashion Square.

Typically when you walk into an Apple Store, you are greeted and assigned to one of their blue shirts.  Unfortunately, the dreadlocked, threaded, sourpussed diva above, for the sake of this story, let’s call her Melissa, didn’t seem very interested in helping anyone.  At one point, I noticed a customer getting extremely agitated because he wanted to pay for his things, but couldn’t get anyone to check him out.  He even went so far as to go to a Mac with a 32″ monitor and type in all caps 96 point “WILL SOMEONE PLEASE CHECK ME OUT SO I CAN GET OUT OF HERE”.

Since our dreadlocked friend didn’t appear to be busy, I tapped her on the shoulder and had the following conversation with her:

Me: Excuse me, but it looks like that gentleman over there is needing some help.
Genius: Huh?
Me: The gentleman over there. He looks like he needs to pay for his stuff. He seems pretty upset and has written quite a large note on that computer saying as much.
Genuis: You know, we’re doing the best we can here.
Me: Hey, don’t get upset with me. I was just letting you know that you have an angry customer. It doesn’t make any difference to me, just wanted to let you know.
Genuis: (to another Genius) Can you see what that guy’s deal is. I guess he’s upset.

Her co-worker went right over, apologized, listened to the customers complaints and took care of him.  Meanwhile our model employee went back to her position of staring at her handheld, not making eye contact with anyone and attempting to avoid everyone.

Now I get that I’m in So Cal where the official state motto is “Don’t you know, it’s all about me”, but seriously.  Thankfully, this charm school graduate wasn’t our service rep.  The guy who did help us (and pretty much everyone at the store we encountered) was completely awesome, as Apple employees almost always are.  How this chick flew below their radar is beyond me.

Posted in Life.