Who The Fuck Is Colt Cabana

A month or so ago, that was the question I was asking.  Why was I asking?  Well, he hosted one of the most important podcasts in his business about a month or so ago (yes, I’m a grown ass man and I watch wrestling.  A lot.  Deal with it) with one of the most talented guys to ever enter the squared circle.

See, there’s this guy who used to wrestle by the name of CM Punk.  A few months after he quit the WWE, he did a podcast with Colt Cabana, sharing his experiences and frustrations with the company.  Now there are a lot of guys with podcasts in that biz.  SCSA, Jericho, Jim Ross, Piper, they’ve all got ‘em  So how does some guy I’ve never heard of (mind you I started watching wrestling in 1981 shortly after Hogan took the strap off of the Iron Sheik) score such a cherry interview and why does the IWC (internet wrestling community) love this guy so much?

colt-cabana

I gotta say, I was pretty hesitant to listen to the podcast.  I dig CM Punk and everything I was reading about the interview made him sound like a bitter old man (even more so than listening to King Kong Bundy piss and moan).  So, I looked into this Colt Cabana guy a bit more and how surprised was I that he’s a member of the tribe.  See, there aren’t many Jewish wrestlers (or Jewish pro athletes for that matter), so when I found out he’s on wrestling’s Jewish Mt. Rushmore (alongside Paul Heyman, Barry Horowitz and Goldberg) I was intrigued.

I proceeded to listen to two of the most engrossing hours I’ve ever heard on a podcast (and I’ve listened to quite a few podcasts over the years).  I’m not gonna tell you that there wasn’t some complaining in the interview, but the tone has been really overblown by the IWC.  What it really did for listeners was show the world a side of the WWE that is rarely available for public consumption.  As for the complaints, the guy was bitter.  He was improperly utilized during his tenure and frankly quite a bit of the VKM stuff didn’t surprise me at all.

It’s been known for some time that these guys are all allegedly commodities for VKM that just get redlined until their respective engines throw a rod.  There are exceptions to the rule (Brock, Rock, etc), but if you’re not getting heat or moving merch, you’re gonna get buried.  Punk got plenty of heat and moved a ton of merch, but that didn’t seem to kick in to full gear until the relationship was broken beyond repair (see the events leading up to the 2011 MITB).

Overall, I was pretty damn impressed.  The flow of the interview was solid, the questions weren’t a giant slow pitch softball fest and the information that was shared was pretty eye opening.  Will CM Punk ever don the tights again for the WWE.  I seriously doubt it.  Maybe a few years away from the biz will change his mind, but if even half of the stuff he talked about is accurate there’s no way he’ll be back.  The podcast is below, so take a listen and draw your own conclusions.

Posted in Jew, Wrestling.

Online Ratings Now More Worthless Than Ever

Ok, let me couch that. Online ratings are now more worthless than ever to end users.

There’s a new game in town folks, and that game is selling bogus reviews to get pretty little stars attached to your Adwords ads.  For those who have never noticed them, they look a little something like this:

review

 

When Google first started assigning star ratings to Adwords ads (back in April 2014 if memory serves), they were using reputable resources such as Bizrate for those reviews. Last year though, everything changed. Instead of just using a few trusted sources, Google opened the floodgates and created a new cottage industry of allegedly selling bullshit reviews.

If you’re not familiar, here’s how it works. Adwords charges on a “per click” basis. The price and position though isn’t just based on the amount you’re willing to bid. It is a calculation based on your max bid, the quality of your ad, the quality of the landing page and the click through rate. Basically, Google is trying to figure out how to maximize their revenue by showing the most relavent ads. The idea of adding the star ratings is to improve click through rates on ads, hypothetically decreasing the cost per click (as CTR is a large component of the Adwords quality score calculation).

The problem though is that there are now dozens of companies that are in the business of gathering reviews and giving the data they gather to Adwords. Now, I get weekly calls and daily emails from extremely aggressive salespeople from these review aggregators and they all come with the same basic sales pitch:

“Hey Mike, I see you’re spending quite a bit of money on Adwords. I’ve got a great way for you to decrease your cost per click! Google leverages reviews collected by as a data source for its seller rating extension and it has been shown to increase click through rates by 17% on average! Oh, and did I mention that we guarantee that 95% of your reviews will be 4 or 5 stars and less than half of one percent will be one star? Seriously, how strong is that?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?”

No offense to the great Herb Tarlek, but I’m pretty sure that all of these jackasses that waste my time on a daily basis look like this:

herb-tarlek

If you then look at the reviews from these companies, you’ll notice that somehow everyone is averaging 4 stars or higher. One of these services goes on to claim that 95% of their ratings are either 4 or 5 stars. If you believe that 95% of the ecommerce companies deserve 4 stars or higher, put down the bong and the Grape Ape, as you’re clearly abusing your MMJ card. As for the quality of the reviews, the vast majority are short, one liners like “always a pleasure” or “great site”. No details, nothing to show that these are verified buyers or in any way legit. Just page after page of worthless 3-5 word, 5 star reviews for companies you’ve never heard of.

Not surprisingly, there are now hundreds of individuals on Fiverr offering to sell you positive reviews.  These guys were there before, offering to write you Yelp reviews to artificially boost your Yelp stars, but now the floodgates are open.  And don’t worry if the reviews don’t actually make any sense, are written in broken English or simply look like they came from spambots.  After all, if the review services don’t care/encourage these types of reviews, why should we?

Honestly, I don’t blame companies for using this service. Google has created an environment where they are effectively encouraging Adwords customers to use these systems, as they allow the companies to publicize the fact that their review data is used by Google. This then encourages sales people to use aggressive and deceptive tactics to make sales.

Are all the companies Google uses bogus? Are all the reviews bullshit?  Of course not.   Just keep in mind though that the next time you see 80k five star reviews for a company you’ve never heard of, there just might be the slightest hint of cow feces wafting from the rating.

Posted in SEO Crap.